Who is a Counsellor?
A Counsellor is a professionally trained person who identifies and resolves problems, that people may face, which impedes their ability to function effectively in all spheres of their lives. These problems could be manifested in the form of emotional difficulties, maladaptive behaviour or thought patterns, attitudes and reduced performance due to disabilities.
What does he or she do in a school?
Counsellor’s role within a school is to support the emotional development of the students, especially those with difficulties. His or her work involves a lot of liaising between parents, teachers and students. Aside from specific problems, the counselor must also help deal with issues like peer-pressure, substance abuse, career guidance etc for the student population in general.
Isn’t counselling just about talking?
Contrary to popular belief, talking during a counselling session follows a specific pattern. The Counsellor may talk herself or may encourage the student to talk following a pattern of validation and rephrasal. The talk is very often symbolic where the student is encouraged to derive his or her own insights from the conversation.
Counsellors also use various techniques like desensitization, relaxation- techniques, specific strategies like token economies for behaviour-management, art therapy, activities aimed at promoting self-esteem, communication, conflict-resolution, decision-making ability etc. Counselling is rarely directive i.e. the Counsellor does not specifically say what or what not to do. The onus is on developing insight within the individual and motivating him or her to make the changes himself.
How do I know when I should see a Counsellor?
There are problems or difficulties inherent in every situation or stage of life. Counsellors are also trained to provide suggestions or strategies that help to overcome these. So in that sense, they could be useful sources of information and emotional guidance. However, it would be useful to keep in mind the following points as an indicator that you or someone you know should see a Counsellor:
Changes in personality –A person may become more irritable, angry, sullen and withdrawn, sad, weep frequently or go into spells of silence for long periods of time. There may be other changes that seem uncharacteristic of the person. These may be a cause for concern if they persist for a long period of time.
Behaviour that has always been or has become unacceptable.
Conditions where a person’s ability to interact with others and to function effectively are seriously affected. For example, a student who writes too slowly, is too distracted, too shy etc.
For a student, it is important to seek help, if he or she does not seem to be responding to any additional help academically. Poor academic performance, especially due to a lack of ability is particularly debilitating for the child in the sense that it affects their self-esteem, confidence and consequently their motivation.
It is particularly useful for adolescents to consult a counselor as this period is typically characterized by the changing nature of relationships whether with friends or with parents, a quest for one’s identity, questions about the future etc.
Is something psychologically wrong with my child if he or she needs to go to the Counsellor?
No. Having to meet with the Counsellor is not an indication of a psychological problem.
It means that due to certain reasons, which may be identified by the Counsellor in due course of time, your child may have certain inherent difficulties or may have learnt some unacceptable and unproductive patterns of behaviour, thought or attitudes which affect different spheres of his or her life. These can be changed given time, patience and continued effort by all the significant adults in the child’s life.
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